What an afternoon. Sending CQ with the sprinklers doesn't get a ham very far. It only gets strange looks from the neighbors, and the occasional curious earthworm. But, you need a little background.

After discussion with my wife, with retirement just a few years away, and a pending move to the country we reached the conclusion that it would be a good idea for me to rejoin the ranks of Amateur Radio Operators. I had held a General class license (WA6ISW) back in the '60s, but it had expired while I was in the Army, and then family and career became time priorities.

So, I bought a copy of Ham University(c) and began to study the code and technical elements, hoping to get my Novice license and later upgrade to General. The more I studied, the more I began to think I would try to take all the elements qualifying me for a General instead of working up to it.

The big day, March 1, 1997, arrived. There was a big crowd taking various Amateur Radio tests on this day, my day. An entire Scout troop, a group from a school, and an assortment of others, of which I was one.

"We are going to begin with the code tests, and after they begin, no one can leave the room." said the Volunteer Examiner in charge. "Who is taking the 20 wpm test?", she asked. The fellow in the seat next to me raised his hand. After some more instruction, the test began. I listened to the 20 wpm code test, copied about 1/3, and began to worry. When the 13 wpm test began I breathed a sigh of relief when words flowed from my pencil to the paper.

"Anyone want to go for one minute of solid copy," asked the Volunteer Examiner. I raised my hand. He took my paper and began to go over it in detail. "Looks good," he said and gave my paper to the other VE s at the table. "One minute solid copy," he said. They looked up at me and looked back at the paper. After a few minutes they were also nodding and saying things to each other like, "Start here" and "Looks good" and "No problem." Then they looked at me and said, "You passed." What a relief. Element 1b passed. Now on to the technical elements.

Element 2. PASSED. Element 3A. PASSED. Element 3B. Waiting and sweating. PASSED. What a feeling. Walking out with my CSCE showing completion of all required elements for a brand new General class license felt great. Now to get equipment, antennas, and all of the other necessary "stuff" to get back on the air. My license came from the FCC a few days later and I was now KC7UXA.

How things have changed! It's a long way from a Heathkit DX-40 to a modern solid state transceiver. Scary stuff! My biggest problem though was how to deal with the homeowners association restrictions on antennas. I convinced myself that a random wire antenna, nailed to the eaves of my house was the way to go.

Everything was connected. Power supply, transceiver, antenna tuner and key all ready to go. I was ready. Power on, tune the antenna and try an 80 meter CQ. Out to my shack comes my wife. "There is something wrong with the plumbing," she cries. "Come quick. The pipes are banging and crashing"

I went into the house and listened but heard nothing. She insisted they had been making horrible noises. I stood in the doorway of the house and had her key down a few times and she was right, as usual. Sounded like someone was pounding on the pipes. This was disaster. All my work and study, not to mention money, and now this.

After some thinking and discussion with other hams, it turns out the RF from the transceiver was activating the solenoids in the sprinkler system for our yard. I asked my wife to go watch the sprinklers while I transmitted. What a sight for the neighbors to see water spurting out of the sprinklers to the rhythm of "CQ CQ CQ."

In the end it all worked out and now I am back on the air and have worked 13 states in the weeks since everything came together. Oh yes, I do get the occasional "hi hi" when I tell other hams that my antenna is a random wire nailed to the eaves of my house 12 feet off the ground. But the best part is IT WORKS..

P.S. Since this story was originally written in April, 1997, the writer has upgraded to Extra and is now AB7VZ, and now has new vanity call N7IF.